Keep on' truckin'

So I've had my fair share of convivencia troubles, including getting ripped off on gastos, a windowless room, and having to withhold certain bodily fluids as my roommate got it on in her room. You see, I must traverse it in order to reach the facilities.

I think of these things as a series of life lessons I just have to get over, deal with, and hopefully, never again encounter in the future. Unlike many of the auxiliares I've met, I came to Spain not because I've been in love with it. I came because I had no idea what I was doing with myself, besides "tolerating" two semi-tolerable, part-time customer service jobs that were admittedly not "stimulating" enough More importantly, I wasn't able to make ends meet.

Without going into specific details, it's safe to say that auxiliar wages alone wouldn't be able to sustain a family. I'm privileged in this sense. There are no dependents to take care of. Financially speaking, I'm the only one I have to worry about.

This is a big reason why I'm not renewing my contract. Granted, it's nowhere near a pauper's life, especially since I "treat" myself quite often. However, it's THE future gnawing at me, that other world where there are people whose needs must be considered--nay, met--before my own, and although I have "years ahead of me," I feel like time is ticking and I must get cracking.

Besides (I'm repeating myself, of course), I'm just not in love with Spain. I don't even love it, really. Like might even be a tad too strong. When the future plays out, I don't imagine it here. I tried to explain this sentiment to a friend, but I just ended up shuddering.

My opinion has obviously been colored by sour experiences. They're the ones that we long to forget but always remember. Had I taken up the assistantship in Paris or were thre one in Berlin, I would've probably felt much the same after a few misunderstandings/misgivings, and this is why those lieblingsstaedte will always be imagined. I "know" them insofar as I've kept memories of them. This is how San Sebastian, for example, appears to me, too.

The bubble soon burts, is there anything positive I can say about my stint? Of course, and the obvious would include the assistantship (I've been quite fortunate with the teacher and the children), the people I've met, the food that I've eaten, the amelioration of my Spanish, extensive public transport, etc. On a (somewhat? purely?) superficial level, though, I mean to present a not-so-random list of things I've enjoyed thus far (or lately). So, without further ado, they are>

1. Pasajes International Bookstore (C/Genova, M: Alonso Martinez)
Every time I consider NOT doing languages as a career, a quick browse changes my mind, and I race back home (or to the nearest locutorio and, say, find the difference between an umlaut and a diaeresis.

2. Beautiful plazas on beautiful sunny days.
Olavide is a general favorite, and I also like the nearby Plaza de Chamberi. You don't even have to get drinks. Just park yourself on a bench with a book.

3. Speaking of public places, I really like the Parque de Berlin in Chamartin, especially towards the eastern end. You try to figure out why.

4. Living in the city exposes you to a really vibrant cultural scene. I suppose New Yorkers and folks from other metropolises already knew this. I'm not just talking about the Big Three (Prado, Reina Sofia, Thyssen-Bornemisza), either. Mad is Mad (C/Pelayo, M: Chueca) is a funny little gallery, and of course, when it comes to exhibits, CaixaForum might give La Casa Encendida and Fundacion Caja Madrid a run for their money. Coming up: Noche de la Fotografia, next Friday.

5. Two really wonderful vegetarian-friendly (not too sure about vegans) eateries are Zoe (C/Santa Maria) and Viva La Vida (C/Huertas), both at M: Anton Martin. The first is, again, a Berlin-inspired cafe/gallery, which sounds intimidating to a neurotic like me, but the food is so good (with ingredients from the nearby market) that I've been my fair share of times. The desserts are always especially interesting, with tangerine sorbet or a really tasty strudel. Viva la Vida is a veggie buffet/shop that charges you by the gram. It's quite small, but the lady is always super friendly and for 7,-EUR you can easily fill up.

Those are only some of the things I can think of off the top of my head, as I'm sure I have more to share. As I'm leaving in two weeks, I wanted at least one of my last posts to be lighter and dhowcase what I've come to like in/about Madrid, instead of my usual "quarter-life crisis" musings. I'm well aware that I haven't spent "enough" time in Madrid to get to know it like the palm of my hand, nor have I really exerced the effort to befriend any locals. That I'm not much of a social butterfly isn't the issue nor was my goal to be integrated into the Spanish social fabric. Instead, I'd been looking for some answers, only to meet with more questions.